M Y s t o r y ʚϊɞ
I do not want to be stick thin like I was two years ago….I was so thin that a NZ size 8 was too alil baggy on me. And every time I looked in the mirror I would not see my actual size…this was because I struggled with a serious eating disorder – anorexia. Not many people know about this as I was too ashamed to admit it and I’ve never been an open person, which doesn’t help. However this year I decided to make a change and come out of my shell. Also I want to be more open with the eating disorder I struggled with, as I know I was never alone. And if anyone has any questions about this, I’ll be happy to answer.
With the help of family I did overcome my illness last year. Unfortunately I ended up putting on a bit more weight than I wanted to after eating more. Scared of putting too much on I began to run….a lot. And with focusing on my weight and not my size I began to get frustrated I wasn’t losing weight again. But in reality I was, my size dropped down again but my weight still stayed around 62KG, I never took into account that muscle weighed heavier than fat. I tried to begin to run harder too soon and that’s when the shin splints started. Training too much too soon and too hard caused a pain in my shins when I was running and for a long time afterwards. For those that don’t know what shin splints feels like, for me it was a constant excruciating bone ache in the shin area and with the feeling like they wanted to explode out of my legs.
I had loved running before in high school and now I have to wait till my shins recover after ruining them, which can take months of no running at all. It also prevented me from playing Football which is one sport I cannot live without. And since the start of the year I’ve began to put on more weight from doing no exercise and not eating a balanced diet. So this summer I want to finally be comfortable and happy with my body, so much that I’m confident enough to wear a bikini.
My goal is to get my weight down to a healthy BMI and also to have a healthy fit more toned figure. Yeah I’d love an amazing body but I’m scared of what will happen if I try to get too skinny again…
This is true - for me, for you and every other girl reading this. Don’t forget it.
Just remember you’ve always been beautiful. Now you’re just deciding to be healthier, fitter, faster, stronger. ♥